When we (sgl and gay men) log on to sites like Adam4Adam.com and Manhunt.net, you can bet yo’ rent (or mortgage) we’re not logging on for an intellectually stimulating conversation. In fact, by the time most of us leave them intellectual stimulation has turned into masturbation or preparation for a sexual gyration.

That’s usually how it goes, but my profiles provoke either thought or controversy. Either way, they get talked about, copied or distributed.

My current profile is the inspiration for one of my favorite *b*log entries. But it wasn’t my perspicacious wisdom that cause him to comment a single line that said:

[I have no racial hang-ups]

I mean really, all that wisdom and understanding sitting right there in your face and all you, a gorgeous Black man, can see is that, I don’t care what color a person is! WOW!

This is how our conversation went:

screennames have been changed, because “who” is nun yo bizness

ME: how you doin this am man?

HIM: you have “no racial hang ups” ?

ME: no sir… what about you?

HIM: I don’t consider black men who rather be with other black men & prefer to be with them a “racial hang up”

ME: nor do i when i say racial hangups i mean…i see color, but for me that is not reason not to date or have sex with someone i find attractive. I prefer black men, but sexy is sexy regardless of what shade it graces. I get flack from brothas about that but i don’t mind.

http://justbthat.com/blog/would-you-date-outside-your-race.html

to some extent i see race as a means of living out certain fantasies, but it certainly isn’t a disqualifier.

HIM: cool but, “sexy is not sex regardless” if it was so we’d have sexy with women , animals, trees etc. , i know that a lot of black americans who are assimulationist are attracted to white men , date them , have sex with them etc. personally i’am not sexually attracted to whites,chinese etc. & it’s not simply & color or “shade” thing it’s more spritual

ME: and in truth man, we know there are people who are into sex with animals and even plants (they all have their reason none of which are my business). you could label me an assimulationist if my intentions were sycophantic, which they are not. race is a taxonomic means we use to create order. coined in French from Greek taxis ‘arrangement’ + -nomia ‘distribution.’

you talk about spiritual, understand that before we were our race we were spirit… we ARE spirit. next we are human then all that other stuff.

I will not attempt for one moment to take away the struggles and suffrages experienced because we are Black, but consider how we treat one another, just as bad if not worse than we accuse others of treating us.

When you leave your Mercedes of a body, do you think it will matter?

HIM: however you want to justify & verbalise you love for white men it’s on you , those guys who have sex with animals can do a good job justifying their “love” / lust for animals too we as humans all have our boundries my boundry for sex is a black male , as far as other males goes Chinese , mexicans etc. i’am simply not physcally attracted , white men same besides it’s a turn off to me how white men objectify black men & treat them like just a big black dick & accept then for sex but would never ask there intellectual opinion or probably would want him to live in their neighborhood

ME: and that’s perfectly fine dude…to each is own…just as you are permitted to view life through your eyes, I have that same right.

That is where our conversation ended.

Being a member of a gay sex website and having White friends who solely date Black guys, I found myself wrestling with the same questions, which in turn gave rise to other questions. I thought about why there are Blacks who only date Whites; Whites who only date Asians! Then… What about men and women who don’t dat outside their sex… Totally different subject but a thought none-the-less.

What about Marlon Riggs, Phil Wilson, Barack Obama Sr. I am the product of a Black/Native American woman who got jungle fever hella bad and popped out babies left and right, one of which is my Granny.

Is my achievement award from the National Association of Black and White Men Together, just a piece of paper?

I’m no sociologist, but the way I see it — if your behavior isn’t the result of some underlying sense of self loathing or contempt for your race, go for it.

Is you’re not familiar with Loving vs. Virginia or Lawrence vs. Texas, take a look!